I used to love social
media. I’ve even learned to love Twitter a little but now, I just
can’t. The political shit I can deal with but what I CAN NOT STAND
is all the average Americans spewing what they “know” Donald Trump is going to
do to our country and world. In preparation for this piece I did a
little research and actually found a letter from a special needs parent warning
that Trump was coming for the disabled population just as Hitler
did. “Hide them! Hide them now before the cleansing begins!” How
fucking irresponsible can you be? Where the hell is that even coming
from? I hate the man as much as the next person but if he ever gave
a speech saying, “Vote for me and I promise I’ll rid the country of those pesky
disabled people!” I definitely missed it. Ever since Trump took
office everybody knows everything. Everyone has a crystal ball,
staring into it seeing exactly what they want to see then writing about it
because they just “know.” Well I’m sorry you all missed the email
but: You. Don’t. Know. Shit. The future can’t be seen nor
determined.
I’m not arrogant enough
to tell you I “know” what Betsy DeVos is going to do to our public education
system but I can tell you what she has planned for
it: destruction. It pains me to say this, but I actually
admire her a little. She’s unabashed in her beliefs and makes no
apology for them. She’s in your face saying, “Public education is a
disgrace in this country. Even if it could be fixed, which it can’t,
it would cost too much.” Remember folks, our country is being run
like a business now. “So I’ll be making no attempt whatsoever
to repair the current system. I’m going to destroy it and build
something new, something that will actually work.” She’s got
balls. If she wasn’t poised to destroy my son’s educational career I
might actually like her.
Here’s her plan in a
nutshell: she’s going to syphon money from the public school system
to support charter schools and offer vouchers to people who want religious
education. In the next few years you are going to see new charter schools and
religious institutions popping up everywhere, especially in the inner
cities. The parents of “perfect” children are going to have more
options about where their child is educated. The quality of public
school education will decline as the quality of private education
increases. And she’ll be able to prove it! Unlike the
charter and religious schools (who will be beholden to no one) the public
schools will still be subject to the common core standards and standardized
testing and since the majority of the population will be special needs children
and the children of parents who couldn’t be bothered to move their kid those
test scores will be abysmal. She’ll be in the perfect position to say,
“Why look at these scores! It’s awful isn’t it? I told
you public education doesn’t work. You should really take advantage
of the school choice you’ve been extended by yours truly. You don’t want your
child languishing in one of those horrid public schools.” She’s a cold hearted
bitch but she’s a genius. In a very short time, if she gets her way,
the majority of “perfect” children will be enrolled in a charter or religious
school and public education will cease to exist for anyone except
1.The disabled population
2.Children who were expelled from their private
school
3.The children of parents who don’t care about
their child’s education
So what can someone like
myself do about this injustice???????????????? Nothing. I’m fucked,
pure and simple. The ADA ensures my son will receive a free and
appropriate education complete with all the services outlined in his IEP but he
will be cut off from the regularly developing children who have taught him ALL
his social skills and filled his life with joy and friendship. They
will trickle away one by one and as they head off to their new schools Kevin
will ask me, “I go too?”
How do I feel about
this? I found out she’d been confirmed during my PREP today at
school and I started to cry but got myself together quickly. “You
don’t get to do this now Rachel. The kids will be back in 15 minutes
and they’re counting on you. You promised them
penguins. All they’ve talked about all day is the penguin
documentary and you have to be excited. They’re excited to learn
about penguins and you don’t get to do this now BUCK
UP!!!!!!!!!!” So I did. They came back from computers
literally foaming at the mouth over the penguin documentary I’d promised and I
told them: “OK guys I need to prepare you for something. In
the documentary the penguins have to make their way through a heard of sea
lions and a few of them don’t make it. They get
eaten. There’s no blood or guts or anything but I just want to
prepare you in advance that not everybody makes it to the end. If
you’re not OK with that you don’t have to watch because I don’t want anybody to
be upset.”
“NO, NO, we wanna watch,
it’s OK, turn it on, turn on penguins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
So we watched the
penguin documentary. You think you have it rough? Thank
GOD you’re not a Humboldt penguin. To get to their nesting ground,
these poor birds have to walk through 20,000 hungry sea lions all hell bent on
eating them. It’s every man for himself… only not. These penguins
approach the pack of sea lions and work as a team to confuse them so that the
majority of the pack can make their way through the maze. If you’re
slow, confused, or new to the game you fall behind and get
eaten. This is necessary for the elite to make their way through and
mate. The penguins who fall behind, the ones being eaten, are a
necessary distraction for the others to make their way through. By
the time the race is over only the strongest, smartest, craftiest penguins have
made it to the end. The director of this documentary really gets you
though. This one penguin, furiously trying to keep up, was inches
from the clearing when he was snatched up by a sea lion. He was so
close.
The class got
it. It’s nature. Nothing personal. Gotta trim
the fat. Survival of the fittest, all except
Braylynn. Poor Braylynn was hysterical. I told the class
to pack up and behave while I took poor BK (that’s what I call her) out into
the hall for consolation.
Braylynn: They
left him behind
Me: Oh honey.
Braylynn: They
just left him Mrs. Ulriksen. They saw he was falling behind and they
knew what was gonna happen and they just let him fall farther and farther
behind!
Me: I know
honey I’m sorry
Braylynn: Why
did they do that?!
Me: They were
doing what was best for them, honey. What was best for the pack.
Braylynn: How
is that best for the pack?!! Letting penquins fall behind. They
could have let him in on the trick, they could have gone back for
him! Those penguins in the front they were so smart and fast they
could have found a way! They just let him go Mrs. Ulriksen, they
didn’t even look back!”
Me: Sweetheart,
these are birds, this is nature, they’re just thinking about what’s best for
THEM. They’re just trying to survive they don’t have time to think about other
penguins.
Braylynn: But
they started out together Mrs. Ulriksen. They were
together. They all wanted the same thing and they let that poor bird
just go because he was slow it wasn’t his fault he tried his best!
Me: He did
try his best. It wasn’t fair.
Braylynn: They
just fought to get to the front Mrs. Ulriksen they just fought to get through
and they forgot about all the penguins that couldn’t keep up like they didn’t
matter! Like they were just there to make sure the “right” penguins
made it out, it’s so cruel!
Me: Braylynn
nature is cruel. Nature means survival of the fittest. A
penguin must do what he must to make sure the finest of his species
survives. Somebody has to get through the maze.
Braylynn: But
what good is it if you make it to the end and you’re first but you let all
those penguins fall behind? How can you be happy about making it
when all those other penguins didn’t?
And now I’m sobbing
uncontrollably alongside her
Me: I don’t
know sweetheart. I honestly don’t know. Something
happened today. Something bad. Today I’m not one of the
penguins who made it out. I fell behind like the
others. The sea lions have got me honey. I’m one of the
ones who watched the faster ones escape.
Braylynn: No
you’re not Mrs. Ulriksen. I’d come back for you. I
wouldn’t let the sea lions get you, even if it meant they’d get me
too. It’s not worth that just to get to the front.
And now we’re holding
each other wiping each other’s tears.
Me: Braylynn
you are the most beautiful girl. I’m so lucky to have
you. Please, please grow up to be just this way. Someone
who thinks this way. The world is starving right now for people to
see it as you do. You’re right. It’s not worth getting to
the front when so many people get left behind. Please promise me
when you’re all grown up you’ll still believe that?
Braylynn: I
promise. I don’ want a world where penguins leave other penguins
behind just because it’s what’s best for the best to make it through to the
end.
I have refrained from
making any blanket statements about my fellow citizens who voted for Trump but
today, today I can’t keep silent.
Dear Everyone Who Voted
For Donald Trump,
Think about
Kevin. Remember every second you spent looking at me and Kevin and
every time you said those kind and understanding words when you knew just how
hard it is for us. And every time you did that I want you think about how
worried you probably felt. Not for me. No. For you and your child who might have
to go to school with mine, who pisses on the cereal in Shoprite. Well, guess
what? You don't have to worry about that anymore. Because the "blow it all
up" mentality that you voted for has installed someone who sees my child
as expendable, even if he does make your child more kind and
understanding. You really won't have to deal with me anymore. Except
when we run into each other at Shoprite. And then, maybe, you will look at us
and feel a twinge of guilt at what you've done. We're 11 days in. First it was the Muslims, now it's the disabled population. Who is next I wonder? Who else in this world doesn't matter?